How does one achieve longevity in marriage and life?

Have you ever met a couple who has been married for 70+ years?

For my day job, I recently had the opportunity to interview a lovely couple in a local senior living community.

Jerry and Harriet have been happily married for a whopping 71 years as of this month. That’s quite an accomplishment!

I was delighted to meet them and hear their stories. In fact, I was so moved by talking with this couple that I am still thinking about them days later.

When I asked Harriet and Jerry about their secret to success – and the key to their wonderful, long marriage – here is what they told me:

They love each other. Maybe this one is a no-brainer, but it matters. Jerry shared with me a poem he wrote to his sweetheart Harriet in 2013 for Valentine’s Day. There was so much love, appreciation and genuine emotion in the poem; it was touching to read. The poem was a great visual example of love in action. These two clearly know each other’s love languages and speak them fluently.

They like to do the same things. Harriet shared that they still enjoy doing the same activities they’ve enjoyed for 71 years; things like going to plays and concerts, visiting parks and entertaining friends and family in their home. Having common interests is certainly a great way to stay close through the years.

They take pride in their children. Both Jerry and Harriet spoke warmly and proudly about their grown – a few even retired! – children. They had moved to Columbus from Arizona, even though they loved it there, to be near their adult kids.

They’ve had no big confrontations. Jerry mentioned that they haven’t argued or fought a lot in their 71 years. Maybe that’s part of their success, although I’ve also read that arguments between couples can also be beneficial to relationships. I sure hope so, since my hubby and I have our fair share of disagreements!

They both had outside interests. Harriet told me that in addition to lots of common interests and shared activities, they also both always had outside interests and pastimes. They each had careers: Jerry was a lawyer and Harriet was a teacher. In addition to that, they also had other compatible interests. Jerry was an adjunct instructor and taught night classes to college students, while Harriet taught reading to children and young people who were having trouble. After she retired as a teacher, she also taught English as a Second Language.

They have lived in lots of places. Both Harriet and Jerry shared that they loved living in different parts of the country throughout their years together. They started in Brooklyn, where they met in high school. After they were wed in 1952, they made several moves to different states where they worked, lived and raised their family. According to Harriet, they enjoyed making new friends everywhere they lived.

They have traveled the world together. Harriet and Jerry also had lots of travel stories to share. They traveled to Iceland, Israel and lots of places in between, said Jerry. They took many trips around the world and enjoyed taking photographs and truly participating in and experiencing many different cultures. They also loved bringing back gifts for friends and family from their travels.

Jerry and Harriet are in their 90s and still embarking on new adventures and enjoying every bit of their lives together. I wish them both good health and happiness for years to come – and may we all be blessed with our own version of the love and longevity they have shared.