Anxiety usually happens at the worst of times.
It’s supposed to, honestly. Anxiety is a feeling of dread, fear and unease that naturally happens when we’re stressed or in a scary situation.
Anxiety is our brain’s way of helping by giving us a boost of focus or energy. Typical anxiety usually subsides once we know we’re safe.
But for 1 in 5 adults and 1 in 3 children with anxiety disorders, the fear is not temporary and the feeling can be overwhelming. It can escalate and lead to panic attacks, which are horrible and can make a person feel like they are dying.
Anxiety is not only in our minds; it has a direct impact on other parts of the body.
People may feel anxiety disorders in their bodies as headaches, muscle aches, stomach issues or unexplained pains. They may be unable to fall or stay asleep. And, anxiety disorders can also raise the risk of other medical problems such as heart disease, diabetes, substance abuse and depression.
Anxiety disorders generally get better with treatment. They are treated with talk therapy, medications or a combination of both. People with anxiety can also use stress management, self-care such as physical activity, or emotional regulation techniques to help cope.
It can be very hard to self-regulate when you’re feeling anxious, however. The second worst way to calm down is to tell yourself to calm down; the number one worst way to calm down is to have someone else say that to you!
Instead, here are three immediate, quick self-regulation tools I’ve found to be helpful during times when I feel anxious, worried or stressed.
- Pixel Thoughts is a 60-second meditation tool to help clear your mind. It’s free and available to anyone with internet access. By typing a specific anxious thought and then watching it float away, you can literally feel yourself becoming calmer. Pixel Thoughts is great for kids or adults. I’ve both used and recommended this site so many times – it’s a lovely little oasis of calm on the internet. I hope you’ll find it helpful, too. If you like Pixel Thoughts, you may also like Connected Breath, a similar free online experience from the same folks.
- Weightless, a song by Marconi Union, is known as the world’s most relaxing song. In one study, listening to the song was able to reduce stress and anxiety by 65%. I find the song, and its accompanying video, to be very relaxing indeed. I’ve found that listening through headphones makes for the best experience. I’m not sure if this would do the trick if someone was already headed into the panic attack zone, but it has certainly helped me calm myself from a general anxiety point of view. If nothing else, you may get a relaxing nap out of it as your brain and body are slowed down by the soothing sounds. Warning: don’t listen to this while driving!
- Not Ready to Talk exercise from Trevor Project. There is also a simple, guided breathing exercise available on the Trevor Project’s website. From the “Get Help” page, scroll all the way down until you see “Not Ready to Talk?” Then, follow the prompts for a calming exercise that can be helpful in times of stress or anxiety. While you’re on the Trevor Project’s site, know that talking to someone is another great way to self-soothe. You can text START to 678678, chat right on the website or call the Trevor Lifeline at 1-866-488-7385 for empathy, validation and non-judgemental support 24/7 from caring counselors.
I’ve found the above free online tools to be really useful during moments of stress while I’m at my computer. I hope they bring you some calm and comfort, too.
If you know of other great tools for easing anxiety or self-regulating emotions – ideally free – please let me know in the comments below or over on Facebook or Instagram. I also really like apps like Headspace or Calm, but unfortunately, they are not free.
