This month, I attended a free drug education workshop for parents hosted by the Delaware-Morrow Mental Health & Recovery Services Board (DMMHRSB), Delaware City Schools and Delaware Police.
Titled “Hidden in Plain Sight,” this event was about all the ways that teens can hide evidence of alcohol or drug use and abuse right in front of parents’ eyes.
There was an interactive display set up to look like a teen’s room with more than 20 alcohol or drug paraphernalia items cleverly hidden right out in the open; the officer walked us through the room and showed us all of them. Some I recognized and have been around since my own HS days, while many others were new to me.
I was hoping to learn a lot and get some positive guidance or tips, but it was a bit of a “shock and awe” presentation. They told us a lot about what horrors to look for, but not necessarily what to do if we find something.
I’m finding there is a real lack of guidance for parents in this area: What should you do if you find vapes or illegal substances in your teen’s room? Who do you call? Where can you get assistance? There’s seemingly not much out there.
Still, for the parents who attended (and there weren’t a large number, sadly), lots of good information was shared. The perils of alcohol, vaping and smoking, marijuana and harder drugs were laid out for us, as well as local student-reported data about what age groups of students are involved in each.
Interestingly, the cops and former police officers giving this presentation did not hold back their opinion that they believe the most dangerous thing you’ll ever find in your kid’s room is something parents literally put in their hands: their cell phone. “Teens have an entire private life on their phones, hidden in plain sight right in front of their parents,” said one officer.
Although this talk was ostensibly about the hidden dangers of substance abuse, the officers devoted quite a bit of time to the hidden dangers of cell phone abuse, which they say is rampant and starts as early as kindergarten.
Here are some of my notes from the talk about each of the following subject areas:
Marijuana/THC. Although legal now in many places in the U.S., marijuana is still illegal for minors and causes many physical and mental problems for children who use it. And yes, young kids are using marijuana in many forms, from vaping and smoking to edibles. In the 1970s and 80s, THC content in a joint was about 6 to 12 percent; today’s pot strains, vape concoctions and edibles can be as much as 37% THC. Approximately 1.2 million kids ages 12 to 17 used marijuana/THC for the first time in the past year – that’s about 3,300 kids each day. I know from experience that THC vapes are readily available throughout Olentangy schools, and the Delaware City schools folks said the same. Teens have a higher risk than adults of becoming addicted to marijuana. Vapes with nicotine, THC and other chemicals are insidious, easy to get and extremely easy to hide – and the companies who make them are marketing them directly to kids. Vapes are everywhere and, with both vaping and edibles, there is little chance of parents smelling something amiss – unlike in the old days, when the familiar, strong scent of weed was a dead giveaway. Local stats show that between 10 to 17% of middle and high school students have used marijuana or vaped.
Alcohol. Drinking is normalized in our society and culture, but alcohol is still illegal for minors and dangerous for kids’ mental and physical health. Human brains do not stop growing until about age 25 and alcohol or drug use can affect how the brain develops. Plus, alcohol increases the risk of fights, poor decisions and other risky activities, including drunk driving and unprotected sex. People who begin drinking before age 15 are more likely to develop a drinking problem at some point in their lives. Many teens between 13-16 may have friends or peers who drink alcohol or use other drugs. The officers in the course shared that many parents have normalized drinking alcohol and may even allow their kids to drink at home (which is surprisingly legal) or allow their kids’ friends to drink alcohol at their home (which is definitely not legal). The officers reminded us that alcohol is the number one substance used and abused by teens. Local stats show that between 11 and 24% of middle and high school students have used alcohol.
Other drug use. The officers then spoke to us about prescription medications, cocaine, crack, heroin and meth. Local stats show that between 3-4% of middle and high school students have used medications not prescribed to them. The speakers stressed that ANY medication can be and is abused, including commonly available meds like Benedryl and Nyquil. The officers recommended that ALL medications, both prescription and over-the-counter, be kept locked up with a “safety first” mindset. Local stats show that only 1 to 2% of middle and high school students have used cocaine, about 1% have used meth and less than 1% have used heroin.
Dangers of cell phones. The officers doubled down on cell phones at the end of the talk, stating that they will get more kids in worse trouble than drug use. The school resource officers present said that cell phone use is where the majority of school issues stem from. They see kids addicted to cell phones as young as kindergarten and they said the #1 biggest problem with cell phones is sexting, or sending and receiving nude and explicit photos or videos. This is illegal, and prosecuted with criminal charges, yet it is COMPLETELY NORMALIZED in both middle and high school and also seen at the elementary school level. The officers shared that second graders have been caught sexting and with vapes. Local stats say that between 20-35% of middle and high schoolers are sexting, but the officers said their experience tells them that number is VERY low. The officers said teens can hide nude and explicit photos and videos in many places on their phones to avoid detection by parents. There is a “calculator app” that acts as a vault for private photos. Snapchat has the “My Eyes Only” section. Kids may also have hidden photo albums, use the “Deleted photos” album or many various hidden photo apps. The officers recommend that parents regularly check kids’ phones and look at battery usage; that is the dead giveaway of where kids are spending their time when on their phones.
“Be as involved as possible in your kids’ lives. They will always be ahead of us when it comes to the digital world – all we can do is try to stay connected with them and try to keep up. This is not bad kids doing these things – it’s all kids. If you give a teen a phone with the Internet, they are going to do these things. It’s normal and it’s everyone!” stated the officers.
They stressed the importance of teaching kids how to be safe when sharing photos and warning them of the consequences of sharing nude or explicit photos or videos. It is NOT worth the risk. The laws haven’t caught up with modern times and penalties are excessive.
The officers summed up the program by saying that kids can get drugs anywhere and everywhere, and they can hide drugs anywhere and everywhere. When kids develop an addiction to substances, they may begin doing desperate things to get more, including selling their nude photos and videos online or to older kids – another sad but familiar story the officers hear.
They reiterated that the most important thing parents can do is to know our kids, interact and talk with them daily, get involved in their lives, know their friends, and talk with kids early and often about the risk and dangers of drug and alcohol use. Practice hard conversations beforehand – find more resources at Talk: They Hear You.
Although this was a somewhat alarming workshop to attend, it did make me feel slightly better. I know that we’ve done some things wrong in parenting our teen, but I also know that we are very close. She talks to me about many of the topics discussed in the presentation, and now I have a few more ideas of things to ask her about next time we have a heart-to-heart.
If you’re a teen parent, did you know how normal some of these teen behaviors were? And we’re here in friendly, midwestern Ohio – I cannot imagine how much worse it must be in bigger cities and more populated states. It sounds like the wild shenanigans in the TV show Euphoria might be closer to real-life teen behaviors than any of us would care to admit.
