Setbacks are hard, and they happen to everyone.
It’s tough when something you’ve been hoping, praying and wishing on a star for doesn’t come through. Whether it’s losing out on a big promotion, failing a test or missing some other achievement or accomplishment you’ve been working toward, it hurts. It stings.
It’s tempting to fall into self-pity or self-recrimination. That doesn’t help, though, and only makes things hurt more.
We need to treat ourselves like our own best friend at these times.
Give yourself a soft, safe place to land and be comforted. Be as kind, caring and loving to yourself as you would be to a best friend who just got bad or sad news.
Take time to feel and express your feelings: notice them, acknowledge them and feel them fully. You can even write them down – I’m a huge fan of journaling at growth moments like these.
And then, after allowing yourself to process how you feel, it’s time to make a plan. First, figure out what you need to get you through this time: a hug from a family member? A phone call with a friend? A day of self-care to give yourself some extra TLC? A weekend to relax, de-stress and recharge with some time in nature?
Plan how you will rise above this challenge and take yourself to the next level. Reflect on what obstacles or challenges are present in your life, and what steps will you take to overcome them. What will you do differently to reset, refocus and make your dreams come true?
Setting goals – even tiny ones! – always makes me feel like I’m moving confidently forward in the right direction. Baby steps totally count. Making a list of to-do’s is another thing that helps me. Checking off goals and accomplishments feels good and gives us motivation to keep going.
If you found your way here because you’re having a hard day, week or year – I get it. Life can feel so difficult, unfair and overwhelming at times. But we’ve made it through every hard day so far, and I know we’ll get through this as well.
I don’t want to veer into the realm of toxic positivity (I used to be that way, but I’m learning and trying to do better), but there can be ways to rethink or reframe bad things that happen to us. For example: what if this setback – which feels like a “no” – is actually the universe getting you unstuck and ready for an even bigger “YES”?!
We’ve all heard the old saying, “When one door closes, another one opens.” What if this is all a means to help us learn, recover, grow and “fail forward” into an even bigger possibility?
I’ve got my growth mindset hat on and I’m ready to learn from my current setback(s), embrace the temporary discomfort, and then forge ahead to find an even bigger and better opportunity. Are you with me?
(It’s okay if you’re still in recovery mode, too. Take all the time you need before continuing on!)
If you’re looking for some self-care tips, I have written a lot about this topic. As always, thanks for being here with me on this journey!
