When the news of Paul Reubens’ death broke last month, I felt sad and nostalgic the way I do when any GenX icon passes.
I hadn’t really thought about Pee-wee Herman for years, although I do still quote Pee-wee’s Big Adventure from time to time.
But later, when I was reading some thoughtful obituaries and homage pieces about how influential his Pee-wee Herman character was for many GenXers, I began to remember and realize his impact on my own young life and personality development.
Before Pee-wee Herman, I can’t remember ever seeing an adult who acted like a kid. Pee-wee made it feel okay to be playful and hyper and silly, even as a grownup.
The 80s were a weird time and I was a weird kid – but I was always far too afraid to let my freak flag fly. I kept all my weirdness inside and didn’t let it show.
Pee-wee was a fun and funny example of how you can let the weirdness out and still be liked and loved. He taught me so much that I never really thought about or appreciated until now. Pee-wee was never afraid of being too much – or not enough.
Pee-wee was exuberant, joyful and playful. He was loud and excited and he loved to dance and to laugh so hard that he fell down – something we should all try to do more of. He was pure childhood magic in a grown-up body.
I was 15 when Pee-wee’s Big Adventure came out in 1985 and I adored it. I never really watched his subsequent TV show, Pee-wee’s Playhouse, but I caught bits and pieces here and there when I was over at friends’ houses.
Honestly, some of my favorite Paul Reubens/Pee-wee Herman performances were in the Cheech and Chong movies of the early 80s. Looking back, it’s hard to fathom how my brother and I had access to such drug-fueled entertainment fare, but what can I say? My parents liked to go out and we had HBO.
Pee-wee had only small roles in those wacky Cheech and Chong films, but he was utterly unforgettable. “I’m sorry I took the money. I’m not sorry, mwahahahahah!” will live on forever as one of the most hilarious scenes my brother and I had ever seen. In hindsight, Paul/Pee-wee basically invented “sorry not sorry” about 30 years before it became a mainstream saying.
And speaking of sorry… yes, it’s true that in his later years, Paul Reubens ran into some legal troubles. After reading this Snopes debunking article, however, I would not be too quick to call the man a pedophile. It sounds like he had an art collection that authorities didn’t appreciate, but I personally don’t think he deserves to be vilified for it.
Now that it’s 2023, we know how important representation and visibility are for children and young people. I’m thankful that young me in the 80s got to see an adult being loud, goofy, colorful, playful and exuberant because, wouldn’t you know it, that’s exactly the kind of adult I turned out to be.
Some might say I owe it all to Pee-wee.
