Am I too attached to my parents?
I don’t think I am – but I am pretty darn fond of them.
I typically email with my dad about once a week or every other week. I text, email and/or talk with my mom at least once a week. Is that too much?
It feels like just the right amount. I don’t get to see them as often as I would like – just once or twice a year since they live on the other side of the country – so staying in touch through frequent phone and online communications feels right.
Even when my parents travel, which they do quite often, I can usually still reach them by email. I enjoy getting updates on their trip and maybe a photo or two.
But not earlier this summer, when they headed off on a Cunard cruise to Alaska. Unbeknownst to me before they left, they would not have wifi on this particular cruise.
When I last spoke to my mom to wish them bon voyage, they were at the airport ready to head north. I had no idea that it would be the last I’d hear from either of my parents for ten whole days.
Ten days may not seem long, but it felt like forever to me. It would have been fine if I knew going in that they wouldn’t be in touch – but since I didn’t know, it felt weird. It felt wrong.
I kept waiting for my dad’s usual updates from the cruise, talking about a great bottle of wine they had or an incredible view or wildlife sighting… but I got nothing.
I kept expecting my mom to text me a hello and a cute pic from the ship… but not a single one came.
After about a week of silence, I texted my brother and asked if we should be worried. After all, they’re in their 80s and they are on an Alaska cruise… what if a polar bear got them during a shore excursion? Or they fell off a glacier?
However, not only was my bro not worried, he wasn’t even aware that they had been gone for a week.
So, I got on the Cunard website and did a little research. I learned that wifi isn’t included on their cruise and requires a whopping $24 per day fee. That’s when I instantly felt better because I knew my dad would never want to spring for that. They like to go on high-end cruises but only if they get a good deal; overall, they’re quite frugal.
At that point, I relaxed a bit. But here’s the funny part: right around the 8-day mark is when my parents’ close friends began to get nervous and reach out to my brother and me!
It was like dominos falling. First one friend, then another, and finally an extended family member reached out saying it was odd that they hadn’t heard from my folks and asking if we knew if anything was wrong. We reassured them all that my folks were fine and living their best lives on an Alaska cruise with no wifi.
On the tenth day of the cruise, the silence was broken. Apparently, my dad couldn’t stand it anymore so he signed up for 24 hours of wifi. That’s when I got emails from both of my parents reassuring us and sounding quite amused that we were all worried while they lived it up like royalty on the actual Queen Elizabeth.
I was relieved and happy to hear from them. That ten days really sucked, though. Ten days without my folks was pretty eye-opening. I am so used to being able to reach out to them anytime; I guess I’m spoiled in that way even though they live so far away.
I missed hearing my mom’s chipper little voice, getting my dad’s crisp, pithy emails and just knowing exactly where they were and what they were up to.
It was honestly creepy. It made me realize that, someday in the future, that’s what it will be like. One day, I won’t be able to pick up the phone and hear my mom’s voice unless I listen to old voicemails I’ve saved over the years. There will come a time when I won’t be able to send my dad an email to pick his brain.
It may sound morbid to think like this, but my folks are in their 80s. It’s high time I came to terms with their mortality – because they both already have, and they’re okay with it.
Me, on the other hand, not so much. I guess all I can do is keep calling, texting, emailing and visiting them both for as long as I can. I am already looking forward to their next visit here to spend time with us in Columbus. I also want to plan our next trip to Cali to visit my whole fam.
I know that I’m fortunate to have both of my parents alive, well, and still able to keep the rest of us guessing.
I plan to enjoy every second with them that I can for as long as I can.
