In January, I wrote about the good things about being single and how happy I was to be unencumbered by a relationship.
I also wrote about how much I love yearning, and how I planned to incorporate more yearning into my life in 2026.
Well, folks, the universe has a sense of humor. Not long after writing those two posts, I somehow manifested myself right into an unexpected – and delightful – romantic relationship chock full of plenty of yearning!
I blame/credit the TV show Heated Rivalry, which I also wrote about in December and January. You see, watching that show re-ignited a part of me that had been dormant for many years. Let’s face it, I’ve been in hardcore “mom mode” since 2009; for more than 15 years, I rarely thought about myself as a woman, but rather solely as a mom.
That all changed when I watched Heated Rivalry, fell in love with yearning and realized that I would like more of this feeling in my life. Embracing my solo journey as a divorcee in 2025 meant surrounding myself with friends, community and fun – which I did. But I was still on a quest for more yearning in my life.
So I thought, what if I join a dating app just to see what happens? I wasn’t sure if there was a market for someone my age, but I figured it was worth a shot.
In mid-January 2026, I joined a couple of dating apps and was shocked at the immediate response. Not only were there people who were interested in me, but there were also people I found attractive and interesting in return! I spent five very enjoyable weeks talking to and dating a few people until I found someone special and we agreed to date each other exclusively. He was a gift I certainly wasn’t expecting or planning for – and I’m sure I’ll write more about him later.
For now, since I’m sure I can’t be the only 50-something emerging from a divorce and testing the waters of dating again for the first time after decades away, I thought I’d share a few tips and learnings from my experiences talking to, meeting and dating people from the apps. Here goes!
1. Choose the right dating app. I tried Tinder first, and it was not the right place for me. Everyone there is DTF and it’s a bit of a meat market. I liked the interface of the app and the way it felt like “shopping” for a date – kind of fun. But, for making meaningful connections, I found Hinge to be a much better fit. Feeld is also an option for those interested in open-minded, non-traditional fun and connections. There are many dating apps so do your research and join one or a couple that feel like the best fit. If you’re female, you probably won’t even have to pay to join – I never gave a cent to any of the apps, and I met plenty of people. My understanding is that guys have to join the services in order to meet women, because more men are using the apps than women.
2. Be yourself in your profile. The most frustrating thing about meeting people via apps is that so many of them aren’t authentic in their profiles. Just be you! Share photos that look like you now, not an idealized or younger version of yourself. State what you’re interested in and looking for. Share your interests – especially anything unique, unusual or quirky as those can often be great entry points for someone to start a conversation or find common ground with you. Be honest and be yourself. The truth will come out sooner or later, so you may as well be real right out of the gate. Don’t sweat it if you feel you’re too old, not in shape or anything else you may be insecure about – just put yourself out there! I did, and the results were amazing.
3. Have “experiences” be your goal. I think part of the reason I had such a good time getting to know people via the apps is that my goal was really just to make connections and have fun experiences. I didn’t have anything more specific than that in mind, so I wasn’t easily disappointed. Even if all that transpired were a few conversations with interesting people, I would have been happy. Imagine my surprise when something far more meaningful blossomed! I found that I really liked the initial texting/messaging phase a lot. Moving to phone calls or meeting in person felt more intimidating and scary for me, especially with how rusty I was; after all, this was my first time dating in 22 years. When I found someone willing to stay in the texting/messaging phase with me indefinitely, and just enjoy it for what it was, I knew I had found someone special.
4. Be open to dating outside your usual age range. This was the part about over-50 dating that surprised me the most. When I first joined the apps, I assumed I’d be talking to people around my own age – but the demographic that showed the most interest in me was guys in their 30s. I was shocked, but proceeded with an open mind as the conversations were good. It turns out that my experience is not unusual; I’m hearing from many other women in their 40s and 50s that “age gap” dating is becoming increasingly common. Dating someone significantly younger than me is not something I’ve ever done before, but it’s sure going well right now. I’m glad I kept an open mind and focused on connection vs. being hung up on his age.
5. Don’t be surprised if your ex reacts badly. This was another part of dating that shocked me. Even though my ex initiated our divorce, he was still furious when I began dating six months after starting my new life. He felt it was too soon – but the fact is that our marriage ended long before the actual paperwork was finalized. I may have only been on my own for half a year, but I had been alone and lonely for far, far longer than that – many years, in fact. I still don’t know why me dating came as such a shock to him, but he lost the right to have a say when he ended our marriage. He made his choices and now I am making mine. While 2025 was my toughest year ever, I’m glad to say that 2026 is truly shaping up to be one of my best.
If you’re divorced and thinking about dipping your toe back into dating, reach out to me in the comments below or over on Facebook or Instagram. I’d love to chat more about dating after divorce!
