I’m not crying, you’re crying

Our sweet 5th grader launched this morning like a shooting star, rocketing out of this house and onto the school bus. She was ready.

For company, she had her face mask, hand sanitizer, snacks and a nervous tummy full of butterflies and excitement.

Now here I sit, left with an oddly quiet, empty house and the realization that she’s literally been by my side for SIX MONTHS straight.

For half a year, we have not been apart except for the occasional errand or playdate, and maybe a sleepover here and there. Otherwise, we’ve been together – and with the dogs and cat, too.

She and I haven’t been separated like this, after so many months of closeness, since she left my womb.

This is almost like a second birthing. I won’t be surprised to feel some postpartum depression coming on during this strange back to school season!

Not only is it odd to be apart after so much togetherness, but it’s also strange to send kids back to school when so many in the workforce haven’t even gone back to their offices yet. So many parents are still working from home because it’s safer – yet we’re sending kids to the front line.

I know we made the right decision sending her back to in-person school. I’m not second-guessing it. I’m just marveling over the fact that teachers and kids are doing something that most in the workforce haven’t had to do yet.

It’s a brave new world, and here I sit in my home office (with hubby safe at home too, one floor below me in his home office).

But I have faith in our wonderful elementary school and the teachers and staff there – and most of all, I have faith in Z’s ability to keep herself safe and socially distanced. I just hope she gets to have a little fun. I hope it’s not all serious, scary and scholastic.

I’m looking forward to her first day at home with me, which is this Friday. I won’t be working at all that day. Instead, I’m going to focus on Z and helping her get set up for independent learning. And hopefully we’ll go on a fun field trip somewhere, if she’s willing!

School is an all new experience this year, and it’s coming after a very strange six months of at-home togetherness. I am fully prepared to feel a bit blue. But also, I feel happy and excited that she’s getting a chance at some semblance of normal life again.

May they all be healthy, happy and safe at school and at home. And may that big yellow school bus be on time this afternoon, so I can welcome her home with open arms and yummy snacks!

About the author

Proud and loving mama. Lucky and devoted wife. Dog, cat and snake mom. Travel nut. Writer since birth. PR and social media pro by day - tattoo doula by night.

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