I’m turning 55 this year. This feels like an age by which one should know something – after all, that’s an awful lot of years alive.
And you know what? I think I actually do know something. I just realized this month that there is a magical elixir that makes life more meaningful, purposeful and joyful.
It’s not what you might think – I haven’t discovered psychedelics. No, this is something much better… and I have the most recent U.S. Surgeon General to thank.
I’ve been following Dr. Vivek Murthy’s work for a while now on social media, because a lot of people at my work think he’s the bee’s knees. I’ve come to realize that Dr. Murthy is a pretty rad guy. He gets it. During his tenure(s) as Surgeon General, he put out great medical and life advice that is well worth following.
Most recently, while serving as the 21st Surgeon General under President Biden, Dr Murthy focused attention on the ongoing youth mental health crisis, the mental health strain on parents and the growing threat of loneliness and isolation to all Americans’ well-being. Prior to that, while serving under President Obama as the 19th Surgeon General, Dr. Murthy created initiatives to address e-cigarettes and youth and the importance of recognizing addiction as an illness, not a character flaw.
Dr. Murthy’s Parting Prescription to America, released in early January 2025, resulted in my “aha” moment. In this publication, Dr. Murthy shared his perspective on the root causes of widespread pain and unhappiness he has seen across America and a prescription for how we can cultivate
health and fulfillment.
According to Dr. Murthy, the cause of so many problems in America is a lack of community. Our loneliness and isolation stem from the fact that we no longer have close ties with neighbors, friends and extended family the way generations did in the past. In his words, community is the formula for fulfillment and well-being in life.
Why? Because community is a powerful source of life satisfaction and life expectancy. It’s where we know each other, help each other, and find purpose in contributing to each other’s lives. Without community, it is hard to feel whole.
I found these words to be a giant revelation to me. Throughout my life, I’ve felt most whole, fulfilled and happy when I have had a strong sense of belonging, connectedness with others, and meaning or purpose. I found many of these things through my career. I have also found these things through motherhood to a degree, but I know that is not always the case as motherhood and parenting can also be quite isolating.
I sometimes wish that our little family had a stronger local community around us. We have no family in this state, we don’t belong to a church or religious organization, and hubby and I both work predominantly remotely which does not lend itself to building strong friendships or relationships.
However, since my realization this month about the importance of community, I have begun actively looking for ways to develop more connections and community in our lives. I’m seeking more community for both myself, and our family as a whole; I’m also encouraging my husband and daughter to discover and develop strong communities for themselves.
In his Parting Prescription for America, Dr. Murthy writes that the core pillars of community are relationships, service and purpose. “These are powerful drivers of fulfillment. They can also significantly influence health outcomes, including premature mortality, heart disease, depression, and anxiety,” he states.
I’ve seen a huge boost in my little family’s mental health and overall outcome since they embarked on their wonderful community service project with Lasagna Love. Z and her dad have now delivered warm, made-with-love, home-cooked meals for 52 people. When they return from a delivery, they are both glowing with fulfillment and purpose; that’s how good it feels to connect with and serve others! Service to others is proven to boost our mental and physical health.
I know the feeling myself very well, for being part of the Trevor Project community of volunteers and staff for the last two years has truly added connection, fulfillment, meaning, purpose and joy to my life. I get to step into my volunteer role and serve our community every week; it gives me a strong sense of belonging and connection to something much greater than myself. I’ve also found community through the parenting and inclusion group I belong to, Parent Diversity Network.
Last year, I was incredibly fortunate to find a job where the sense of belonging, connection and community are out of this world. No wonder I am so happy there and absolutely love my role!
Dr. Murthy says we need to cultivate community for both our own individual and collective well-being. I believe that is more true today than ever before. I will work throughout 2025 to build and deepen connections and relationships with friends, family members, coworkers, neighbors and people I interact with. And, I’ll be focusing on service, whether small acts of day-to-day kindness (like leaving love notes for strangers, as seen above!) or more intentional projects like our family’s work with Lasagna Love.
I’ll also be thinking intentionally about purpose, and about love – for believe it or not, Dr. Murthy also writes a lot about love in his Parting Prescription.
To build community requires love. Love not as sentimentality, but as a commanding force with the power to build, strengthen, and heal. Love as generosity and kindness. Love as hope and grace. Love as courage.
Religious leaders have long known these truths. There’s a reason leaders from every faith have preached on love, community and service to others. In the immortal words of Reverend Martin Luther King Jr., “Life’s most persistent and urgent question is, ‘What are you doing for others?” And Mahatma Gandhi said: “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.”
How do you feel about the relationships, purpose, service, love and sense of community in your own life? Will you join me in making these things a focus in 2025? I’d love to hear from you on this topic in the comments below or over on Facebook or Instagram.
