As of this month, I’ve now lived in Ohio for 27 years – the exact number of years that I spent in my birth state of NY.
From this point forward, I’m officially more Ohioan than New Yorker. Ohio is now my home state!
As I’ve shared in other posts, I was born and raised on Long Island and lived in NY until I was 27 – including four years in upstate NY for university.
I liked upstate NY a lot, but when I graduated, I had no interest in staying there. I had my sights on working in the Big Apple!
After college, I moved back to my childhood home on Long Island to live with my parents for a year until I could afford to move out on my own. Beginning in June 1991, I commuted by train into – and worked in – Manhattan.
Working in NYC was super fun and exciting at first. I was young and living the dream. I had the energy for it all!
Every day was a dashing and bold adventure:
- My first real, professional job in my chosen career
- A commute by rail into the Big Apple
- Dressing up in corporate attire Monday through Friday
- Taking the subway and navigating city streets like a pro.
It all seemed so surreal and grown-up that every day felt exciting. But trust me when I say the novelty wore off and that NYC commute got old pretty quickly. After the first couple of years, the appeal of working in the big city dimmed (the first World Trade Center bombing and the Long Island Rail Road massacre, both in 1993, had more than a little to do with that).
My twice-daily commute into Manhattan became soul-grinding and a constant battle. I still loved the PR work I was doing, but I was ready for a less stressful lifestyle. In addition, my parents had left NY and headed for the West Coast, followed soon after by my brother.
I no longer had any family roots in NY, which also contributed to my wanting to stretch my wings.
My only NYC-related regret is that I never moved into the city itself, which would have dramatically reduced my commute and added its own share of excitement. I just didn’t have any close friends who lived in the city, and the idea of finding strangers to be roommates felt daunting, so I never made it happen.
By the mid-90s, I was starting to send resumes out to PR firms in enticing cities like Tampa, Atlanta, and Charlotte. Then, a former client called me about a dream job in Dayton, Ohio. That career opportunity finally came to fruition in 1997 and saved me from my long commute and crazy hours working in the big city. It wasn’t hard to convince me to move, even if Ohio wasn’t originally in my plans.
Dayton, Ohio might not have been my dream city at the time, but I fell in love with the idea of a less hectic commute and a more peaceful lifestyle. Right from the start, Ohio felt like home to me – plus I was fortunate to have business trips back to NYC about once a year. I never missed Long Island.
In fact, the one time I took E to visit my hometown on Long Island, I felt empty and depressed the whole time I was there. It felt strange to be back on the Island without my family. I’ve never gone back since. I don’t ever want to feel that sad, empty feeling again!
By comparison, I’ve never lived in California but when I visit my parents’ home in the lovely coastal suburbs of LA, I feel happy, alive and right at home. I guess for me, home is wherever my mom is.
And home is also right here in Ohio, where I became a mom myself. Anytime we think about moving out of state, it’s hard to find a place that compares with all that we enjoy here.
I may have been born and raised in NY, but I was never truly a New Yorker at heart. My family wasn’t from there – they just happened to settle there for 25 years or so. Once my parents left the East Coast, instantly it wasn’t home for me anymore, either.
So I am an Ohioan now – but I’m glad that I still have enough New Yorker left in me to show family and friends a good time when we visit the city. We have loved taking our nieces and nephews to NYC for their 16th birthday trips. And I adore that Z has grown up knowing and loving the city, Broadway shows and Times Square, just like I did.
Back when I was planning to leave NY and move somewhere else, I thought about moving to LA to be closer to my family. Cali was a tempting prospect again when my brother moved there after college to be near my folks. It sometimes feels odd to be the only member of my immediate family not living on the West Coast!
But, I knew Cali would be a hectic and pricey grind just like NY was. I was ready for a calmer and more relaxed lifestyle and cost of living.
In LA, everyone is house-poor because real estate costs are through the roof. We would only be able to afford a tiny home compared to the veritable palace we have here in the Midwest – and we wouldn’t be able to afford to travel as much as we like to. Plus, NYC is very driveable as a getaway trip from Ohio. I wouldn’t be able to say that if we lived in LA!
Until we find a place where the quality of life and cost of living are as wonderful as they are here in our adopted home state, I just can’t imagine us moving. If you know of a place that compares with Ohio for natural beauty, cost of living and quality of life, definitely let me know.
Until then, I’m more than happy to keep calling Ohio home sweet home.
