It’s my Trevor Project anniversary today.
It’s been exactly one year since I completed one of the most rigorous training programs of my life, graduated and became an official Trevor Project volunteer.
There were honestly times when I doubted whether I would ever get to this point.
When I first applied for the Trevor Project volunteer training program, I was initially rejected. I had to wait six months before I could reach back out to them.
Once I got in, I found the Trevor Project volunteer training program to be emotionally daunting, difficult and time-consuming. It required 40+ hours over ten weeks. The content was new to me and challenging both intellectually and emotionally at times.
I had to do intensive training modules and take tests while on a family vacation to stay on schedule. And I even had a small, unrelated cardiac incident during that time, too. It was difficult to stay on track, but I managed!
Through all of it, I was motivated and driven by my passion for Trevor’s mission: to help end suicide among young LGBTQ+ people.
Keeping that mission in mind helped me so much as I pushed through challenges, studied, worked hard, figured out the tools I needed to support myself, and ultimately passed all my final role-play exams.
But then it was time to actually do the job I had trained and worked so hard for. That was scary, too.
What if I failed someone? What if I let someone down? What if I made a mistake or messed up somehow? When I started, I remember how scared and anxious I would feel every time the phone rang. What if I simply can’t handle this next call?
I’m happy to share that I could and can do the job. I continue to thrive in my volunteer role. I use a simple mantra: “When in doubt, lean into empathy.” Empathy is the key to success at Trevor Project – and in much of life. We’re all just human beings trying to connect with other human beings.
Working as a Trevor Project volunteer has been the most rewarding thing I’ve done in my entire career. Outside of becoming a mom, nothing else in my life gives me such a strong sense that I’m helping make the world more beautiful. In this role and through my regular blood donations, I can honestly say that every day is a beautiful day to save a life.
Today marks 52 completed shifts as a volunteer for Trevor and, including my training, more than 200 hours of service so far with The Trevor Project. It is such an honor and privilege to do this work.
I became a Trevor counselor to help prevent suicide, ease tough times, and increase joy for LGBTQ+ young people. I also wanted to learn more about how to help young people in crisis – really, to help anyone in crisis.
I’ve learned that and so much more.
- I’ve learned how to stay calm in a crisis. When we pick up that phone, we never know who will be on the line. Trevor Project volunteers are trained, prepared, and fully supported to handle any crisis – including someone at imminent risk of suicide. Practicing these skills each week has helped me to keep calm in the face of personal crises, as well. Keeping calm is an underrated skill – it’s so important in life. I always wanted to be the kind of person who stays calm during times of crisis, and now I have worked hard to become one.
- I’ve learned to become a better listener and more supportive friend, parent and family member. I’ve had hands-on training and a year of practice at emotional validation, which is so important, yet most of us are never taught how to do it. If I’m being honest, this didn’t come naturally to me. Before my Trevor training, I was a poster child for bright-siding, a form of toxic positivity. I would tell friends or loved ones “Don’t worry, everything is going to be okay! You’ve got this!” but sometimes that is the exact opposite of what they need to hear. Sometimes, everything is not okay – and that’s part of life. Validating another person’s lived experience is where the magic happens.
- I’ve learned to be more mindful. Life has intense ups and downs at times. Emotions can come in huge waves some days. It’s important to remember that no matter what is going on in our lives or our minds right now, we can keep perspective. We can breathe, ground ourselves, and take a moment for self-care or self-compassion. Everyone needs coping skills and tools. Everyone needs to spend time with their emotions. Mental health is as important as physical health and requires its own preventive maintenance, just as we care for our physical bodies.
I am so glad I decided to try something new in my 50s – something hard, rewarding and beautiful. I’m so grateful to my family for supporting me, believing in me and not begrudging me all these hours spent away from them.
I am so proud and thankful to be a volunteer empathy worker for The Trevor Project. I look forward to continuing to learn and grow with this vital work and this amazing organization for years to come.
Being a Trevor volunteer is challenging, inspiring, emotional, uplifting, heartbreaking, joyful and worthwhile. Just like life.
If you are in crisis, having thoughts about harming yourself or others, or need some emotional support, please reach out for immediate support by dialing 988 or calling the Trevor Project at 1-866-488-7386.
